Denise DeSimone knows the meaning of the word "grueling."
She has been through it all: chemotherapy, radiation treatment, and even neck dissection surgery, which left her without a large interior portion of the left side of her neck.
"I went through an awful lot," said DeSimone, who was diagnosed with neck and throat cancer in 2005. "I had to learn to eat again. I ate baby food for a couple of months, and I pretty much had to go to a speech therapist."
Despite the fact that she could not speak at one point, or that she had to eat through the feeding tube in her stomach for nine months, resulting in 40 pounds of weight loss, DeSimone has defeated the odds and been in remission for several months.
On Saturday, the 51-year-old Newton native will show everyone just how well she's doing - by singing the national anthem before the Boston Red Sox Game at Fenway Park against the Toronto Blue Jays.
"I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm emotional, I'm humbled, I'm honored ... every bit of it," said DeSimone, an Amesbury resident, who was asked to sing the anthem by the Pan-Massachusetts Challenge committee. "It's probably the most humbling experience I have ever had in my life, and I'm so full of gratitude that I could almost explode."
DeSimone was first diagnosed with stage four squamous cell carcinoma of the throat and neck shortly after she rode in the 2005 Pan-Massachusetts Challenge, her second participation in the 84-mile cancer fundraiser. She then underwent months of daily treatments, eventually enduring extreme-heat therapy that required her to sit in a room bearing temperatures of up to 140-degrees to kill off the cancer cells.
The neck-dissection surgery took out several lymph nodes and glands that could be affected by the cancer, and she could barely swallow water.
"The hardest thing was that I could not sing for almost a year," said DeSimone, who had recorded a CD with a friend in Nashville, Tenn. "I never made a living at singing, but I've always sung and played the guitar for the past 25 years."
But DeSimone, a sound-healing therapist and motivational speaker, says she did not look at the cancer in a fearful way.
"I took a much different approach," she said. "I really learned about what cancer is all about on an emotional and spiritual level. I talked to it, and I asked it all sorts of things, and it gave me some really good answers."
DeSimone's sister, Diane Donnellan, who had to juggle caring for her sister and her late husband, Bill, who died of lung cancer several months ago, said she has been amazed by her sister's faith and determination.
"Knowing my sister, it's honestly not surprising," said Donnellan, 60, an assistant to the associate provost for international relations at Bentley College. "She just completely embraced this disease in such a unique way, and came out the other side of it. I don't know of anybody handling cancer the way she did."
Donnellan also acknowledged her sister's returning voice, and is eager to hear it through the sound system at Fenway on Saturday.
"She has a beautiful singing voice," she said, "but she never thought she'd be able to sing again. To be able to sing the way she sings now is just phenomenal."
DeSimone will also be singing the national anthem at this year's Pan-Massachusetts Challenge on Aug. 4, which she will also be riding once again, this time with Denise's Dream team, which includes several of DeSimone's close companions. They include 30-year best friend Marsha Meade, a former Waltham resident, who helped DeSimone through her darkest days.
"She was one of my biggest angels that helped me stay alive," DeSimone said.
And having seen DeSimone go from barely speaking to being asked to sing at Saturday's Sox game, and even riding in the Pan-Massachusetts Challenge again, is more than inspirational for Meade.
"To have gone through all this process that she's gone through, and then to be able to ride this year is truly amazing," said Meade yesterday. "And she kicks butt. I can't even keep up to her. Her physical condition is amazing. To have her be able to do this is beyond her expectations."
DeSimone continues to acknowledge her gratitude of a second chance, and wishes to do all she can to help people along the way.
"The bigger reason and the bigger picture is that I did go through the rigors of hell, and I said, 'God, if you're going to keep me alive, it better be for a really good reason,"' she said. "This is the beginning for me to be able to step up and be inspirational."
For information on the Pan-Massachusetts Challenge, or to donate to Denise's Dream Team, visit www.pmc.org.
Matt Perkins can be reached at 781-398-8009 or at mperkins@cnc.com.
