Lori Baruch was running around backstage managing a Reagle Players show in June when she got the page about her mother.
"She had fallen down the stairs and a vacuum cleaner fell on top of her," Baruch recalls.
Baruch, 44, said she and her sister had been worried something like this might happen; but neither was prepared when it did.
After being rushed to the emergency room, doctors found Baruch's 80-year-old mother had suffered bleeding to the brain and held her in intensive care for two weeks. It would take more than three months of rehabilitation before her mother could go home, and Baruch believes the accident worsened a dementia condition.
Since the beginning of the summer, Baruch and her 38-year-old sister Kara Young have been struggling to make the best decisions and provide as much care as possible to their ailing mother. The sisters say the past five months have been overwhelming and confusing.
"What we found very difficult is navigating this whole system, we could both make it a full-time job. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack," said Young, who lives in New Hampshire is a working single mother to an 8-year-old special needs child.
Local elderly and caretaker support agencies say families do not need to go through these struggles alone.
"The Council on Aging is your first resource," says Waltham Council on Aging Director Marybeth Duffy.
As difficult as it may be to broach the subject, Duffy says the best thing adult children can do for elderly parents is talk about aging and end-of-life decisions before crisis strikes.
"But in all my years working as a hospital social worker, most situations were handled at the time of a hospitalization," Duffy acknowledged.
Whether a family is planning ahead or dealing with the unexpected, Duffy said the Council on Aging can help direct them to appropriate services.
One of those resources could be Springwell, a Watertown-based agency coordinating services for seniors, the disabled, and those who care for them. Springwell serves eight communities including Waltham and Newton.
"Losing your independence is never an easy thing, Springwell's goal is to keep people living as safely as they can in the community," says Linda Glatt Anderson, manager of information and consultation services.
Springwell offers services billed on a sliding scale based on income, as well as free services. Some of Springwell's free volunteer programs offer relief to family caregivers, including grocery shopping and reassurance home visits and phone calls to check on an elderly or disabled homebound person, Glatt Anderson said.
She said Springwell also has a money-management program and subsidies to help struggling families pay for one-time costs such as installing grab bars and shower chairs.
Jewish Family & Children's Services in Waltham also offers a range of programs. Marsha Frankel, clinical director of senior services, said the agency has a Monday through Friday information and referral line at 800-980-1982.
"People can call and speak to an experienced social worker," said Frankel. "People don't always know who to turn to when they're in distress and they don't know which service to go to."
She said callers can be informed about transportation options, state agencies, local nursing homes, as well as programs within the agency depending on what is needed. She said the agency runs Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease family support groups as well.
When dealing with seniors, addressing mental health can be just as important as taking care of physical ailments, says Linda Cohen, a licensed independent clinical social worker at Crossroads Counseling in Wellesley.
"A lot of medical conditions do have depression as a secondary symptom," said Cohen. "People who have been functioning very well suddenly find they cannot function."
Crossroads counseling services are covered by Medicaid and most insurance companies. Cohen said social workers can visit seniors who feel anxious or depressed in their homes since transportation can be difficult for many of their clients.
"Basically what we do is look at some of the issues of aging and help them deal with it," Cohen said. "What we'd like to get across is that depression is treatable. You can feel better and you can do something about it."
Nicole Haley can be reached at nhaley@cnc.com or 781-398-8004.
Agencies that provide services for the elderly and/or their caretakers.
- Waltham Council on Aging; 488 Main St., Waltham; 781-899-7228
- Springwell; 125 Walnut St., Watertown; 617-926-4100
- Jewish Family & Children's Services; 1430 Main St., Waltham; 781-647-5327
- Crossroads Counseling, Inc.; 219 Washington St., Wellesley; 781-431-2277
