Married in 2004 to her husband James Humuza, Rwiyereka was bound to the home to care for their child, Lynne Usanase.
"The idea is how can a couple support each other from a culture that does not allow men to baby-sit and take care of the house," said Rwiyereka, 36.
Now, almost three years later, the couple is living in America while Rwiyereka pursues her master's degree at Brandeis University's Heller School for Social Policy and Management.
And while she's at school, James is at home tending to their 17-month-old daughter, something that would have never taken place in Rwanda.
"It's like an exception to the rule, and it's very encouraging," Rwiyereka said.
Rwiyereka was one of four women from Africa, Asia and the Philippines to share their experiences of motherhood yesterday during a Mother's Day discussion at Brandeis's Womens Studies Research Center.
The event, launched in 2002, commemorates Mother's Day each year by widening the understanding of mothering and its challenges. This is the first time the event has looked at the role of mothers from other countries.
"What started as a very small initiative, this event has extended within the confines of Brandeis itself and beyond," said Mei-Mei Ellerman, a center scholar and one of the event's organizers.
Joining Rwiyereka yesterday were fellow Heller School students Felicidad Justiniana from the Philippines, Bulelwa Mshumpela from South Africa and Muqaddisa Mehreen from Pakistan. The event also welcomed a quick visit from the center's founder Shula Reinharz, wife of Brandeis President Jehuda Reinharz, who read Julia Ward Howe's "Mother's Day Proclamation" from 1870.
"Arise then ... women of this Day! Arise, all women who have hearts! Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!" Reinharz read from the proclamation, which Howe had written after the Civil War to unite women.
The woman shared their experiences as mothers in their homelands, and as students and workers in America.
"To be a mother, it's not like you just have to have a child to be a mother. It's an acquired role. You have to be married," said Mshumpela, 35, a single mother who was not actually considered a mother until she came to America to pursue her master's of arts degree in sustainable international development.
But although she is looked upon as a mother by Americans, Mshumpela said the transition in moving from one culture to the next has not been easy, and can be very lonely at times.
"Life in America is very difficult," she said, "because I'm a single mother, because I'm a student."
Justiniana, 45, told the mostly female crowd of her five children ages 5 to 19, and her experience bringing them to America, where she is also pursuing a master's in sustainable international development.
Mehreen, 36, has been married for 10 years, and has three children, all of whom she had by Caesarean section. Mehreen had initially been harassed in her homeland for not having a son for her first child.
"Her being a daughter, there was this undertone to it," she said of her first born child, Anusha, 9.
Mehreen gave birth to her third child, a son, Mustafa, now 5. While she fills many roles in her life, as a sister, a daughter, a wife, and a mother, she said she finds joy in one role above all others.
"Being a mother, I think takes the most out of me," she said. "It's something which is very, very special."
Ruth Nemzoff, a center scholar who helped organized the discussion, said Mehreen's emotional connection with her own motherhood could be understood by many in the crowd.
"Every woman in the room knew that," Nemzoff said. "I just thought that was very powerful."
And the crowd certainly felt a close connection with the four mothers and the challenges they face.
"Their issues were not very different from our own," said Mary Dailey of Newton, who had received notice of the celebration from Nemzoff. "I can identify with everything they said."
Likewise, Christina Jameson, a 1981 Heller School alumna, said she felt a strong message in the women's experiences as dedicated mothers.
"The main purpose of life for women is to sustain life," Jameson said. "That's really important for Mother's Day."
Matt Perkins can be reached at 781-398-8009 or at mperkins@cnc.om.
